Anything Yet?

This is the question I've been hearing from my Ryan for the passed few weeks. At first it was cute, now it is overrated because everyone is asking on a daily basis! I know it's only because everyone is excited and because they care!

We're off to the hospital today to take a non-stress test to see how my contractions are progressing. I can tell you that last night I did not need a test to answer that question for me because they kept waking me up...although they were not strong enough to get me to the hospital, just to the bathroom to pee and go back to bed.

Anyway, Ryan keeps singing, "I got a feeling!" And I have to give it to him, because I got a feeling too...a few things have occurred over the last few days which are supposed to mean labor is near. I have so many mixed feelings and emotions. I'm nesting, I'm resting, my mood changed like the tide last night, I'm cramping and my mucous plug has fallen out. TMI? I don't think so...a message from another mother to me was that after pregnancy - all decency flies out the window! Haha! At least I thought it was funny.

Anyway, we'll keep you posted. I'm still praying for a natural (and vag) delivery and that she comes on her own before I am scheduled to be induced. Please pray with me for a safe and fast delivery and recovery! All that matters to me is that my baby is healthy and strong. I love her so much already and of course so does her Daddy as well as everyone else! I know everything will be worth it in the end...my daughter means much more to me than my birth experience at this point. I realize I can't plan and control everything...

Love,
STB Mommy Angela

2009 Year in Review

Happy New Year Everyone! I hope you enjoyed it with the ones you love the most!

I was supposed to post this before the year was over, 2009 that is, talk about procrastination. Anyway, here goes...

So, I was watching The Martha Stewart Show about two weeks ago and she had a segment called Baking and Rapping with Snoop Dogg. It was quite entertaining to say the least. They were making brownies with green sprinkles! Coincidence? I don't think so.

Later on in the show someone from Yahoo! came on and revealed the Top 10 search queries for their 2009 Year in Review. The list consisted of everything from pop culture, celebrity gossip, and of course politics. It was no surprise that Michael Jackson was #1 on the list!

Anyway, after watching the show I started thinking about my year in review...What events changed my life? What stayed the same? What kind of searching have I done within myself? You know, those questions we all tend to ask ourselves at the end of each year...

This lead me to mentally make my own Year in Review! However; instead of making a list of my Internet search queries, I developed a list of my highlights for 2009! Don't get me wrong, although my list is not extensive, I am very grateful for everything that happened in 09. The following are the big events that changed my life forever!
  1. Getting Pregnant and Being Pregnant: And I'm still pregnant so far. We found out on May 2, 2009. We made our announcement to our families on Mother's Day! It was an unexpected surprise for the both of us. It was funny actually. I randomly took a home pregnancy test before attending a my Cousin Mike's Birthday Shindig and Fight Night (Pacquiao vs. Hatton) - I wanted to have a few drinks but I wanted to make sure I wasn't pregnant or anything so I took the test, expecting it to be negative. I didn't even tell Ryan about it. The interesting thing is that we were just discussing what kind of car we wanted to get when we did have a baby among other things. Anyway, I peed on the stick, set it down, and while finishing my business I watched as the "+" sign formed. I was amazed, excited and speechless. I pulled up my pants, washed my hands and ran to Ryan. I said guess what...I must have been glowing with excitement because apparently he thought we had won the lottery. I said no, revealed the pregnancy test from behind me and he says, "what does this mean?" and I say, "we're pregnant!" I had always thought about how I would react and I never thought I'd be walking and pacing around the house like a chicken with it's head cut off. I was overwhelmed with joy, I had so many questions, I wanted to tell my family, I didn't want to tell them, I was so happy and I still am. I thank God for giving us the opportunity to start our own family and for trusting Ryan and I with a little life that came from our love! We decided together that we were going to let nature take its course in late 2008. When people asked when we were going to have kids, I would always be the first to speak up and say, "oh in 3-5 years." I never gave Ryan a chance to say anything and we just never sat down and had a real conversation about it. I always assumed we were on the same page. I wanted to have a career and be financially stable. He in fact wanted a child as he was approaching his 30's soon. I realized this one day in November 2008...I could tell he wanted to start a family. We finally talked about it and made the decision that we would. We tried in the sense that we stopped all forms of protection...no ovulation calendars here...I wanted it to happen naturally and it did, five months later! Now, nine months later I am about to give birth to our first child...our baby girl, Alana Rae! I cannot wait!
  2. Abuelita's Homecoming: This was a difficult time for me and my family. I remember the morning my sister called...they were trying to keep it from me because I was only few weeks pregnant but she was on speaker phone. My sister started talking and I immediately knew something was wrong. When the words Abuelita and hospital were used in the same sentence I started crying and something told me it was not going to be good. I got ready praying that everything was going to be okay, but in my heart knowing that she was already gone. I had the song, The Climb by Miley Cyrus stuck in my head on the ride to the hospital. I cried as Ryan held my hand and comforted me. We got to the hospital and I could see my family sitting on the bench outside...it is still difficult for me to write this as I remember it so clearly...we walked up to them and as I got closer, my dad grabbed me, held me tight and said the words I did not want to ever hear, "she's gone." All I remember is breaking down into massive tears, almost falling, kicking and screaming like a child throwing a tantrum saying and thinking NO! At first I was upset that they didn't tell me sooner. Then I realized they were just looking out for me and the baby. I was able to go in and see her...but it was so surreal. She was so strong, I never thought she'd die. Surely she was going to make it to see her first great grandchild. That wasn't the case and she knew already because when I gave her her card on Mother's Day that read, " Feliz Dia de los Madres Visa Abuelita" meaning Happy Mother's Day Great Grandma in Spanish, she said, "we'll see if I get to know the baby." I told her, not to talk like that. I have to admit that the first thing I thought of when I saw my pregnancy test turn positive was who's life will be taken to make room for my baby. I'm not usually superstitious, but I've noticed the patterns of life and death. When one life ends another begins and vice versa. This was definitely the most difficult event this year for me. Although I know she will live on through us, I just wish she were here with us. God has given me peace and I know she is walking the streets of gold along side Him.
  3. Graduating with my Masters Degree: I almost didn't even attempt to do this until I got laid off from my job early in 2008 right after we purchased our condo. This was more of a personal goal for me rather than a professional goal. Education is important to me and I always wanted to obtain a Masters Degree. It's never too late to achieve your goals no matter how big, small, or expensive. Anyway, I received my Master of Arts in Strategic Communication. Every time Ryan sees my writing he says that my degree came in handy! I hope he's right! I really need that piece of paper to work in my favor this year when applying for a new job. Some people tell me I'm a professional student. It used to bother me, but now I say, "so what...what happened to knowledge being power?" Just because I have a degree doesn't make me better...but it might give me an advantage over someone who doesn't. I simply enjoy learning.
  4. My first experience in the East Coast: This was an interesting trip to say the least. Ryan and I have vowed to take at least one big trip a year and 2009 happened to be a trip to Virginia and Washington, D.C. We originally went for Cousin Bryan's wedding, but we also used the time to celebrate our 3 year anniversary. We spent a lot of time with family and we got to do some site seeing. Ryan also showed me his old stomping grounds - his high school, his first job and the old house he used to live in. At first I thought we could move there, but then I realized when we came home that there is absolutely nothing like San Diego! We are so blessed to be natives!
  5. Celebrating 3 years of marriage and 9 years of dating: Yes, we are happily married! I can't believe it's already been three years and then nine years altogether. They say time flies when you're having fun. Aint that the truth! WOW - is all I can say. I married my best friend. Ryan is truly God's gift to me. I can't ask for anything or anyone more! We celebrated locally and had a staycation/babymoon in Point Loma. We both treated each other to Cohen Restaurants, no theme, just a coincidence. We stayed at the Island Palm in Shelter Island, enjoyed Cold Stone ice cream, apple cider and chocolate covered strawberries! We also walked around the Cabrillo National Monument and The Point Loma Lighthouse...it was actually my first time there after being a native all my life. Ryan was pretty excited to take me there for the first time...it was so cute and it kind of felt like a first date! We kept it simple and really focused on what was important - US!
All in all, I am grateful for everything that happened in 2009. Everything lead me and Ryan to where we are today...I love my life. I love my family. I love my friends. I love 2010 already! Here's to another decade!

May the Lord Bless you all this coming year! I'm excited for what is in store...

New Beginnings


It's been a while since I've last posted a blog here or anywhere else for that matter. It's been a difficult year with the loss of my Abuelita. However it's also been an exciting year going through our first pregnancy. I have to admit, I wish I had blogged about it...but for some reason I did not have the energy or the drive. Not that I was not happy about being pregnant, but because there was so much going on.

For those of you who have experienced being pregnant and are already mothers, you may or may not agree with me. But as they say, "every pregnancy is different...there are no two that are alike."

Well, I am now happily in my 35th week of pregnancy; and Ryan and I are very much excited for the anticipated arrival of our beautiful baby girl! Yes, GIRL! Her name is Alana Rae Quisumbing! Although I am excited to give birth to her, I will be a bit saddened that she will no longer be in my belly! I love feeling her move around in there. Pregnancy truly is an amazing experience and I thank God for trusting me with this child. It's been a wonderful journey with ups and downs, but mostly ups!

When Ryan reads to her and talks to her she moves around even more. She is already, Daddy's Little Girl! And even though I haven't been blogging publicly about my pregnancy I have been trying to keep a journal of things I want my daughter to know. It's a work in progress and I will most likely continue to write in it when she is born and as she grows.

I feel so overwhelmed with joy and with things that need to be done. But overall, this has been a great experience. Above is a photo of Ryan, myself and our growing baby taken at 30 weeks. It is one of our favorites as it depicts our emotions towards our unborn child, Alana Rae!

Everyday, we thank the Lord for entrusting us with another life. We consider ourselves truly blessed! I will be honest, it has been a bit scary at times thinking about the future...How our child will have to live in this cruel world. Are we financially stable enough to raise this child? Who will take care of her when I go back to work? How am I going to fit that through this (ladies you know what I'm talking about? Etc...There are so many questions and not nearly enough answers. The only thing we have been able to do is to trust and rely solely on God for his guidance and support. I know he will never allow us to go through anything we cannot handle...where there is a will, there is a way.

My prayer for you...is that each and every one of you will be able to experience the joy of motherhood and fatherhood one day soon! It is the best feeling and this is just the beginning for us.

Cheers, to New Beginnings!

Peace, Remember Me This Way!

Euology: Para mi Abuelita

As the oldest of her four grandchildren, I am honored to stand before you and speak about my Abuelita, Theresa Ocampo Bellina. Although this has been a difficult time for me and my family, I am at peace knowing she is with our Lord and Savior, for 2 Corinthians 5:8 says, "to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord."

As most of us have experienced, grandparents are special people who spoil you rotten and scold their children for scolding you. My Abuelita was special alright, but she didn't necessarily soil me rotten or scold my mom for scolding me. In fact, she knew what was best for me and instead she told me every time she could to take care of my parents and respect them because they are the only parent's I have. Instead of spoiling me rotten with material things, she prayed for me daily, told me amazing stories that sometimes I thought were made up just to scare me, she made me laugh, and most of all loved me with all she had. She helped raise me, she comforted me when my parents would leave for work, she cooked these cute miniature meals for me and she cared for me, always. I loved watching my Abuelita sing and dance; it was her favorite thing to do. Along with watching novelas, spending time with family and praying. She was always full of surprises and as you may have seen in our phots, she was very playful with all of us.

I always saw my Abuelita as strong woman who feared God more than anyone I knew. In fact, she was so strong; she was watering her grass the night before she passed. She had so much courage and a very forgiving heart. Although my mother took great care of her, Abuelita still liked to be an independent woman. I am sorry today for taking advantage of any time I had with her. Because her mother passed away in her 90's I thought I had more time with her, it just goes to show that tomorrow is never certain and that we should show and tell our loved ones how much they mean to us every day. For some reason, I always felt Abuelita would never leave us, physically. Deep down inside I know she will never leave, as she lives in me and in all the lives she has touched. The Dream on Earth is that a man is not truly gone, until he is forgotten. She will live on through each and every one of us here today.

I am so thankful for the memories I shared with Abuelita from my childhood, to my teen and tween years, and to adulthood. I was so thankful and blessed to have her watch me get married. Most of you know she didn't like leaving her house unless it was for church on Sunday; but she wasn't going to miss my wedding for the world. My last memory of her, and I think she planned this, was when I told her she was going to be a Vis Abuelita, a Great Grandmother on Mother's Day a few weeks ago. She was so happy, she started to cry and said, "We'll see if I get to know the baby." Every time she spoke this way. I told her not to say those things...when all the while, she was just trying to prepare us...for the natural cycle of life.

Now, I know, no matter what I say or do, Abuelita will not physically appear. No matter how hard or how much I cry I will not hear her sweet voice or see her beautiful smile; however crying does help to ease the pain I've been feeling since she left us. All in all we must remember that every cloud has its silver lining, a ray of hope and sunshine for every difficult time in our lives. I've always known that God will never put us through anything we cannot handle. For me to expect Abuelita to live forever on earth would be selfish. I always knew this day would come, yet I never thought it would come so soon. I will always remember the stories Abuelita shared with me, the lessons she taught me, the love she gave me and I will gladly pass on her legacy to my own children and family.

Abuelita, Gracias por todo, Dios te bendig y te quiero mucho. Nosotros estamos rescando por ti.